Last Wish by Erin Butler

Author:Erin Butler [Butler, Erin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: How We Lived, secrets, NA, road trip, coming of age, new adult, romance, Erin Butler, college
Publisher: Entangled Publishing, LLC
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Em and I said good-bye to the ocean that morning, and after that, things weren’t the same. She was lost in herself. For the hundredth time, I wondered if we should’ve stayed there, let our new connection bloom and unfold. But staying wouldn’t have done us any favors. When she revealed the truth about her past relationship, I knew I couldn’t have her right away. I was sick I’d even taken it as far as I had without knowing why they’d broken up. If I’d known he was abusive, I never would’ve started anything. She needed time. She deserved time. And I would be of no help to her when I was as fucked up as she was.

From the passenger seat, Em pointed out another Cracker Barrel billboard. “One last hurrah?”

I swallowed the sudden thickness in my throat. Even though I wished we could, I knew we shouldn’t. What would be left of me if she was just using me to get over what Nate had done? She’d given me one beautiful night where the restraints of obligation, the weight on my shoulders from my promise to Kyle hadn’t held me back. Even if she wasn’t intentionally leading me on, her head couldn’t have been in the right place. I’d felt free for those precious few hours. She’d felt it, too. I saw it. But ever since she told me about Nate hurting her, she’d retreated inside herself again. And I was left with one more thing to worry over.

When I didn’t answer, she wound her tiny fingers around mine. “It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

I cleared my throat and chose the perfect words to say. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I really need to get home to the shop. My dad needs help. The end of the month is the busiest time for him. State inspections.”

Her voice softened and she pulled her hand back. “Oh.”

Perfect words, my ass. It sounded like a bunch of excuses to my ears, too. And like when we first started this journey, she leaned her head against the passenger-side window and stared off into space.

“I’m sorry, Em. I’m just tired, I guess. I’ll take you to Cracker Barrel if you want.”

She waved the offer away, her eyes sad. “Some other time.”

The freedom, the fearlessness we’d built us around was slipping through our grasps. We were losing it as reality crashed in. The miles between us and home were ticking closer and closer to zero. With every passing road sign, the weight piled on heavier and higher.

“What’s your biggest regret?” I asked her. It seemed like the perfect question for the thoughts jumbled in my head.

She fretted over her lip. “Nate. You?”

“Getting in that car with Chase.”

The words slipped from me before I analyzed them. I leaned back in the seat and thought about what I’d said. If someone had asked me that question a couple months ago, or maybe even a day ago, I would’ve said Chase, period. The truth always came out when you least expected it.

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